@trevso_electric: The worst feeling is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are a pizza.
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@Playing_Dad: "Daddy, why is it dark at night?" It gives the ghosts and zombies a time to run around and collect little kids. Goodnight, hunny.
@Laser_Cat: If you subtract all the sex robots those NASA nerds built, the moon landing only cost like eighty dollars.
@Scimommy: Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL? Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.
@MoneypennyNaked: Married girls are so lucky. They can post anything they want on here because they already tricked some dumb guy into marrying them.