@rickolantern: The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going
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@tastefactory: *slides into home plate and crowd goes wild* Hey everybody, be quiet for a minute! *pulls out phone, dials number* Hi mom, I got home safe.
@kumailn: Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem.
@TheMichaelRock: HR: welcome to sexual harassment training. Me *raises hand* I'm gonna leave. HR: it's mandatory. Me: There's nobody here I would harass.