@rickolantern: The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going
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@WordsOfaHooker: "So you're a foodie? What's a foodie?" "We enjoy eating out and trying new food." "So you're like everyone else, except you brag about it?"
@jazmasta: Ever think about an old friend and wonder what they're doing right now? They're playing on their phone. Everyone is playing on their phone.
@EpicurusRising: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!! *holds up severed head The crowd stared in horror as the National Spelling Bee contest took a morbid twist.
@Iwriteforcats: Son: Dad, you work so hard and never get any credit. You're like a superhero! Dad: Nice try. You're still not getting the Internet password.