@theveganqueen: the worst part about being vegan is having to get up early to milk the almonds
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@thesarahthing: "I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you were driving your truck around the Walmart parking lot trying to find your truck."
@Nonnie_Linda: Sitting here eating blueberries wondering if my brain is improving Doubt it..... took too long to spell doubt
@stephenjmolloy: *accidentally click on internet explorer* Internet Explorer: oh what the... HELLO. OMG! WELCOME! HERE, PLEASE USE ME AS YOUR DEFAULT BROWSER. CLICK HERE! NO, DON'T GO! PLEA-
@sofarrsogud: [Takes out scrunchie and shakes out my slicked back ponytail] Take the mugshot again.