@robfee: The worst part about breaking up right before Halloween is now I have to explain at every party why I'm dressed as half of a horse.
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@Fred_Delicious: "son, did i ever tell you about how I served in Nom?" "dad, don't you mean Nam?" "sorry son i ate a small cake at the end of that sentence"
@Brampersandon_: If I had a nickel for every time I had a nickel I would just continue getting nickels until I had all the nickels.
@FilthyRichmond: Parenting tip: Unplug the microwave before dropping acid because you'll inevitably put the baby in there for safe keeping.
@apok842: You lost your phone and it is on silent? Too bad. If you liked it you should have put a ring on it.