@caseytduncan: The worst part about getting kidnapped would be when the news told everyone your real height and weight.
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@writerPT: Coworker: You look tired. Did you not get enough sleep last night? Me: Nope. Slept great! But thanks for telling me I look like shit.
@JuliaChildCIA: "I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father." - Spock and the guy I end up marrying.
@The_MartiniGirl: Getting caught under your desk and coming up with nothing in your hand is always so hard to explain.
@T_N_Crumpets: Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive