@caseytduncan: The worst part about getting kidnapped would be when the news told everyone your real height and weight.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Playing_Dad: [At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money.
@Awk0Tacoo: Every chick magazine ever: You're beautiful and are perfect just the way you are! How to loose ten pounds in ten days you fat, ugly cow.
@Sal0630: Me: I'm gonna make a salad Her: I think the lettuce went bad [opens fridge] [lettuce flicks a cigarette, hops out & pulls a switch blade]
@RidiculousSheri: He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him.