@caseytduncan: The worst part about getting kidnapped would be when the news told everyone your real height and weight.
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@DadandBuried: 6yo: What's for dinner? Me: Pork medallions. 6: I HATE THOSE! Me: I'll give you $1000 if you can tell me what either pork or medallions are.
@VeganZebra: *walks into IT department attempting to look cool* You guys torrent any emails lately?
@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: Hey, why is my paycheck so low? General Hux: Damages. Maybe you should stop throwing temper tantrums with your lightsaber.