@curlycomedy: The worst part about the measles outbreak at Disneyland was still the price of admission.
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@Dawn_M_: If you carry a knife in your mouth, people wont ask you what your Valentines Day plans are.
@Manali_Shetye5: Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?
@CarpentersCrack: I date waitresses so I can ask them if everything is ok when their mouth is full.
@panmidwest: Theresa nothing worse about a breakup than your ex's name autocompleting whenever you type a word that starts with Theresa same letters