@markleggett: The worst part of being an astronaut would be eventually having to come back to Earth and deal with other people.
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@Cheeseboy22: If the Pottery Barn didn't want me to bring my goat in the store, they shouldn't have called it a barn.
@Reverend_Scott: [Wonder Woman shows up] Superman: Is she with you? Batman: I thought she was with you? Wonder Woman: Bruce you literally emailed me today
@genehunter1: After the delicious brownies have all been consumed following my funeral, a video of me will inform everyone that they just ate my ashes.