@daemonic3: The worst part of getting a chain wallet for your birthday is that now you have 3 days to send 10 chain wallets to your friends.
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@timdonakowski: Why would anyone become an architect when everything you do gets destroyed in an X-Men movie?
@shiksaaa: My boyfriend said he had a Catwoman fantasy. I must have misunderstood because we both wore leather cat suits to bed last night. Awkward.
@iamspacegirl: In the middle of a GOP debate, Scooby and the gang suddenly rush the stage. They wrestle Trump to the ground, struggling to remove his face.
@GibJimson: If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at.