@smelbz: The worst part of going on a date with a guy I don't like is how my grandma always dies before our food gets there.
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@dubstep4dads: ZOMBIE 1: why do we eat brains? ZOMBIE 2: because. It's food for thought! haha ZOMBIE 1: [sigh]
@farleftcoast: For Christmas this year I'm going to pay my bills and look at pictures of Europe and cry.
@Just__J0: A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone.