@smelbz: The worst part of going on a date with a guy I don't like is how my grandma always dies before our food gets there.
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@StarWarsProblms: Anakin: How do we get in? Obi-Wan: We'll be stealthy. *turns on huge, glowing laser sword*
@AnnaisAwesome76: I’m 39, If you invite me to a party that only starts after 10pm, I’m not even going to pretend I’ll make it.
@meganamram: We're in the exact point of climate change as when wile e. coyote runs off the cliff but hasn't looked down yet
@aka_fatman: It's because it's Bring Your Daughter To Work Day, sweetie. That's why. What Papa is doing right now is called an "autopsy". Stop crying.