@skullpuppy11: The worst part of seeing a spider in the shower was the way it covered it's eyes when it saw me.
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@kelkulus: The coolest part of the bible is where one couple somehow populates the world by having kids from every race and ethnicity.
@Dil_Tron: [bar closing time] Do you wanna come over to my place? Her (flirtatious af): oh yeah Ok hold on.. *dials phone* Mom? Can you pick me up now?
@Rrrrnessa: Next dude that complains about the friendzone will be step-son zoned. I will literally marry your dad and step-son zone you. Try me.