@skullpuppy11: The worst part of seeing a spider in the shower was the way it covered it's eyes when it saw me.
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@lisawhiteWHAT: My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
@better_off_dad: God: I made a rainbow! Devil: I'm making all the fire alarm batteries die in the middle of the night.
@WorkaholicBlake: There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable
@HatfieldAnne: Yes, my teeth are dazzling, but, please, treat me no differently than you would the next demigod.