@Social_Mime: The worst thing a woman can ask a man is "Guess what today is."
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@JoleenDoreen: When you get to Customs and they ask if you have anything to declare, "Thumb War" is not the answer they were looking for.
@internetluke: Jesus: saw that facebook event "last supper"... looks good but whys it called the "last supper" ? Judas: oh.. No reason really
@simoncholland: A few weeks ago my dad decided he was going to order pizza from his iPad. He's almost finished.
@InternetHippo: ME: Billions of bacteria live on and inside my body INTERVIEWER: I meant tell me about yourself job-wise