@kimwilliamz: The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.
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@FunnyMojoJojo: When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!
@PyrBliss: McDonalds wants you to tell your family you love them because if you keep eating McDonalds it won't be long before you're dead.
@KentWGraham: My son got me some very expensive cologne for Father’s Day. I know it was very expensive because he used my credit card.