@CubanaMama82: The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.
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@13spencer: [Having a problem with my iPhone] Me: *texting myself* Test Me: *replies* I have a girlfriend
@DaddyJew: I haven't talked to a single member of my family since the great monopoly battle of '06. So yea, I know a thing or 2 about holding a grudge.
@LoriLuvsShoes: A man in the car beside me had his arm out the window and I was admiring his sleeve tattoo until I realized it was only excessive arm hair