@CubanaMama82: The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.
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@TheBoydP: I'd rather take a bullet for my son than cover for him when mom asks who left the dirty dishes in the sink...
@Adar79Angie: When the girl working the counter says "would you like fries with that?" say.."are you calling me fat??" then burst into tears. Free meal.
@dshack8: 3 Best Uses for Oven Timers: 1. Remind you of beer in the freezer 2. Pizza rolls 3. Notify guests when their time's up & they should leave
@fro_vo: Genie: what is your first wish Joe: i want to be rich Genie: granted. and what is your second wish Rich: i want lots of money