@MissNaughty1801: The worst thing about finding out Santa isn't real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
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@panmidwest: I was going to pay the taxi driver with my leftovers from lunch but that wouldn't be fare to him
@AimeeHelene1: I've developed a rash from my wedding ring, which can only mean my body is rejecting marriage.
@karanbirtinna: My friend sneezed and I didn’t say “God bless you” and I had to watch helplessly as demons appeared and dragged him to hell.