@KatieBurnett: The worst thing about kissing the person who loves you the most is when you bang your teeth off the mirror
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@hpb777: Me: *texts* How'd you sleep? Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.
@chadopitz: Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology.
@brendohare: [evil villain turns around in chair to confront adversary but spins too fast and does two complete revolutions before talking]
@GayDeceiver: Meanwhile, in Facebook, Greta, who dislikes the gays, is about to get a big surprise from her son and his "roommate" of 20 years.