@KatieBurnett: The worst thing about kissing the person who loves you the most is when you bang your teeth off the mirror
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@thebeckyard: I was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.
@Brampersandon_: [around campfire] ME: *grabs guitar* Hey kids how about a song? KIDS: Yeah! ME: ok *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODI
@the_hawlk: SECURITY GUARD: "Sir, I have to check all backpacks" ME: "ok" *opens backpack* *its full of hundreds of tiny backpacks*