@mjkspeaks: The worst thing about life is getting comfortable and then realizing that you don't have the remote.
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@cwhudson: [dog walking a human] *walks by a coffeeshop with its door open* HUMAN: *tries to sprint in* COFFEE DOG: woah boy *pulls leash* easy there
@plumbur: If you start a conversation with "you're gonna say I'm crazy" there's nothing I can do but to congratulate you on your clairvoyance.
@SumukhComedy: Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?