@joejwest: The worst thing about owls is the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
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@birbigs: New slogan for cats: "Ever go to the zoo and want to snuggle a tiger but don't want to die? Cats."
@CulturedRuffian: I put some doughnuts, ice cream, and snickers bars in my blender for dessert tonight, so yeah-I juice.
@causticbob: I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig. It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.