@joejwest: The worst thing about owls is the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
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@VodkaThursday: I got an email from Olga. She thinks I'm sweet & "longs for finding a special person for serious relations". So there's always that.
@SirEviscerate: There are no atheists in parking lots where you've dropped your phone face down on the asphalt.