@joejwest: The worst thing about owls is the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
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@LostCatDog: I peed in an ocean, but I'm not going to tell you which one - you're going to have to take your chances.
@ThaJawn: Angel: God.. Were you drunk creating last night? God: no..... Angel: *holds up platypus God: a little..
@DRUNKdadding: You know when your cat looks at your kids like "thanks to you I've been out of food for 3 days and nobody's noticed" .....?