@smedlee: The worst thing about when someone tells you to chillax is what to do with their corpse.
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@robyn_vo: I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn't tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
@TedOfficialPage: If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. "Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."
@JesTurtle: I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight.... It's probably not a good night to go to jail....