@Smethanie: The worst things in life are free, too. Like, gonorrhea, chapped elbows and flyers left on your windshield.
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@okimstillhungry: I see you have a tattoo that says "Only god can judge me." Buddy, you're not gonna believe what im doing right now.
@AsaAkira: A lot of you are calling me "mom" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old.
@NotMarkAllen: I feel like a taco salad is the worst way to eat a taco, and yet, the best way to eat a salad.
@jordangerous: Facebook: My little man is the best thing that's ever happened to me! Twitter: Free baby. DM for details.