@Smethanie: The worst things in life are free, too. Like, gonorrhea, chapped elbows and flyers left on your windshield.
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@SufficientCharm: My boyfriend thinks it's cute when I use the clap emoji but I've just been trying to tell him that I have an STD.
@sofarrsogud: NARRATOR: When camping be wary of savage bears trying to take your food *camera pans to a bear holding glass of wine with a wtf expression
@envydatropic: So many people say "if my memory serves me correctly" and I'm actually quite shocked at the amount of servants named Memory.......