@WiseguyPictures: The worst time to find out your parents are dead is probably right after you've taken a large hit from helium balloon.
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@MamaFlores: Clicks "open" Tries door Clicks "open" Tries door Clicks "open" Tries door What the FU.. Wrong car (I have a master's degree)
@AnkCoupleTO: *84th flr* CW: You look sad, can I cheer you up? M: Heard Van Halen's "Jump"? CW: Sure! Me: Jump out that window and sing it on the way down
@Laser_Cat: Janice, from HR: Ok, so we're clear. From now on no biting, right? Me: Yeah, whatever. *adds "influenced policy" to my resume*
@LeightonSaysHi: He told me he wanted a dirty girl so I didn't shower for two weeks. Now he won't return my calls. Forget women, MEN and their mixed signals!