@Reverend_Scott: The year 4542, artifacts are discovered from our once flourishing civilization. "Looks like they worshiped apples." said one archeologist.
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@badbanana: For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there'd be one less blogger.
@SortaBad: *walks into library* "Excuse me, where are your books about asking librarians out on dates?"
@leshnevsky: Any phrase can be banalized,by adding "if you know what I mean" at the end. EG: This morning my wife made me a ??tea,if you know what I mean