@girl_a_whirl: The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.
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@paperphotoyo: Being a parent means you have to make gigantic sacrifices like quality sleep and the backs to every remote control in your house.
@JRobb773: Life is full of lovely, unexpected surprises, like watching two pigeons attack this guy on the street for no reason.
@lisaxy424: Passed a gym sign that said “Have those new yoga pants been to yoga yet?” and I feel personally attacked.