@girl_a_whirl: The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.
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@ambamthankyamam: Bicyclists, it's one thing to hog the road, but it's quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
@ChrisScarlette: We now return to 'CANADIAN SNIPER' *canadian sniper shoots an enemy* *canadian sniper yells 'sorry' from far away*
@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Anyone have anything else to add to this meeting? Me: Yes. I am awesome. Boss.... Me: Write that shit down.