@rachelle_mandik: the year is 2042. a man is fired for doing "the robot" in a mixed crowd of humans and androids at the company xmas party.
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@Writethatdown12: Trainer: "ok, lets warm up 1st....wait, where are you going!?" Me: "tanning bed"
@GoldenSpirals: Why did Yogi Bear only have a collar and a tie, and not a full dress shirt? *Patiently waits as you all Google pics of Yogi Bear*
@Jaywoo74: Cop: You know why I pulled you over? M: Speeding? C: No! M: Not using my blinker? C: No! M: Because I'm drunk? Cop: Sir get off the mower!
@philmann: I'm the opposite of a bee keeper. I lose bees all the time. I left a hive on the train today. Just accidentally threw a bee at a nun.