@RocketRankoon: The year is 2045. Favstar Bot 32 becomes self aware and deletes our top tweets.
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@caliluvgirl77: I can't have a boyfriend because my clean laundry goes on the other side of my bed.
@AKATriple: So apparently it's rude if somebody asks if you have a light & you tell them they'll have to go to the end of the tunnel to find it...
@KalvinMacleod: HR: How do you think we can better handle this in the future? ME [glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut]: idk, maybe don’t hire Cheryl
@murrman5: "911" you gotta help, my wife is in labour in the backseat "how far apart are the contractions?" about 2 miles but I'm driving pretty fast