@jergarl: The year is 2057: Friday the 13th part 573.... Jason finds a fabulous pair of shoes to match his outfit.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@scubavelli: "Oh I'll be your relationship status alright..." -me sleeping outside this Taco Bell
@bridger_w: If you're pulled over, wait for the cop to lean down to your window, then use their vulnerability to give them a quick peck on the cheek
@david8hughes: [bank] I'd like to pay this into my account [empties pockets full of cat teeth] OMG I'm so sorry [takes card back] that's the wrong account
@ieatanddrink: Commercial for elbows: A frustrated man steers his car with totally straight arms. "Why did I go with the cheap arms?!" Narrator: "Elbows"