@Parker_Simpson: The year is 2065. Every adjective once used to describe another person is now deemed offensive. Noone's left their homes in years.
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@PopeFrancisXXX: If Mary gave birth to Jesus & Jesus is the lamb of God, then did Mary have a little lamb?
@TheRolo: 911: What is your emergency? Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.
@Rich_McCarthy: *Salesman smashes through window into living room* Evening, folks. Are you in the market for a new window?
@juliussharpe: I'd be less scared of trying to take a gun from a mugger than I am of taking an iPad from my kid.