@jwoodham: The year is 2087. Selfies are the new currency now and that annoying girl you went to high school with is the richest person in the world.
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@OBiiieeee: "Dad why'd u name me this?" I named u after the greatest athlete to ever live "Oh ok" Now let's go, Air Bud, we're gonna be late for church
@NotYourSoulmate: Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere. I sold them all on the black market.
@MavenofHonor: *grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring
@shawnspree: It's not sex until you walk away with a nose bleed, and the Eye Of The Tiger song is still playing in your head.