@noog: The year is 2200. All fossil fuels are depleted. Our only source for coal is Santa Claus. Everyone must be naughty for the sake of mankind.
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@Rollmaninoz: *pterodactyl wakes his wife up pissing at 3am* WIFE: I thought your pee was supposed to be silent!!!
@KevinHart4real: I just saw a man get hit by a car...he got hit & fell down & then got up & chased the car down the block!!!! His legs must be strong as shit
@UnFitz: If I had a time machine I'd probably go back and kill Hitler but I'd definitely stop on the way to object at my wedding.
@vladchoc: Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't you take a "how to eat sandwiches without choking" course?