@WonderMonkey78: The year is 2316. Humans have 12ft long arms from centuries of taking selfies.
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@Jeffwni: [Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? "Ankhesenamun" - How do you spell that? "Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"
@tamytoo2: Actual text from 17 y/o son: kin u com bi nd swoop me? I hope he means hit him with my car, because that's the plan
@theDanLawler: No thanks, newborn babies of literally any species on planet Earth. Come back when you're less pink & rubbery & can loan me thirty dollars.
@aRealLiveGhost: to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other