@kyle_thatisall: The years 2045. 90s kids are old &wrinkly. Grandma tosses seeds to pigeons "Go insane go insane throw sum glitter make it rain" she whispers
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@KalvinMacleod: CAR GPS: turn left PHONE GPS: turn right C: who was that? ME: just a friend P: just a friend? ME: wait C: make an illegal U-turn ME: babe
@GashleyMadison: "For a really awkward time, call me." -me, leaving my number on bathroom stalls.
@_SingleBabyMama: Me: *Reaches over, cuts up food, says "open wide" & starts making airplane noises* Guy: *stunned silence* -Single Mama on a date
@2tickytacky: He told her that trees blossom in her presence. What he meant was that she scares the sap back up into them.