@TheMichaelRock: The Zika virus can now be transmitted sexually. Luckily, most of you have nothing to worry about.
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@KalvinMacleod: [dinner party] GUEST: so what are your thoughts on euthanasia? ME: [mouth full of mashed potatoes] I am against youths everywhere.
@withanewname: "Yes mam that'll be $1200" "Just to remove a cassette tape that's stuck?" "Ma'm, it's in your CD player"
@Genevieve0404: "Pop star, Justin Bieber, was charged with DUI, driving with an expired license and resisting arrest." Britney Spears whispers, "Amateur."