@TheMichaelRock: The Zika virus can now be transmitted sexually. Luckily, most of you have nothing to worry about.
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@Dmvm1977: Whenever I'm feeling low, I grab a pen.. and I write something joyful and happy to lift my spirits. Today I'm writing my bosses obituary.
@man_spach: *tries several times to connect to the internet using a dial-up modem* *reaches #1 on the dubstep charts*
@Cpin42: Some lady at Olive Garden died, so we’re rummaging through her stuff. Just like a real family.