@shkeeber: Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
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@causticbob: I bought a book on eBay called, 'How to scam on eBay'. That was two months ago, and it's not arrived yet.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? You didn't, the brakes did. Cop: But do you know why? Cuz I pressed the pedal with my foot? Cop: Get out.
@VintageKriner: "You're more likely to be killed in a car wreck than eaten by a shark." The shark made a convincing argument, so I got out of the cage.
@ClichedOut: "Opps" is my favorite typo because it suggests the thrill of a secret counterinsurgency.