@thesulk: Then a guy with a rope necklace and flat brimmed hat came in and everyone felt better about their own problems.
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@OctopusCavemann: It’s amazing how every single time I get fast food the person in front of me has never seen a fast food menu in their entire life.
@Marlebean: They say guys who drive tiny sports cars are trying to over-compensate... *walks up to guy in minivan* "Sup?"
@djdarrellripley: Her: Does that dog actually play chess? Me: He's not so smart. I beat him 2 games out of 3. *Dog Barks Me: Alright, 1 game out of 3.
@TheToddWilliams: [dinner, my place] "This tastes like pork?" ME: You asked for a nice swine "No, a nice wine" ME: Oh, okay…you still want the crap cakes?