@david8hughes: Then god said, "Let there be light," and there was light and he regretted making Adam in the dark because he gave him Owen Wilson's nose.
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@ipalatsky: An old Russian wisdom: Tell me who your friends are, And I'll tell you what you'll be charged with.
@rickkondell: Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
@StayNobody: *Sees son doing homework* What u doing? "Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u