@david8hughes: Then god said, "Let there be light," and there was light and he regretted making Adam in the dark because he gave him Owen Wilson's nose.
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@mooses_mom_mar: Interviewer: What skills can you bring to this company? Me: I can kill a spider without screaming. I: Your office will be next to mine.
@Shock_Monster: The cruelest part of the movie Bambi?nnnnHis mom named him "Bambi." nnShe deserved what she got for that.
@caseytduncan: I hate when friends send me home with leftovers in plastic containers. "Here, you throw this food away and then clean the containers."