@Reverend_Scott: Then my wife left me, I became an alcoholic and started making meth in my basement but anyway take one candy bar each kids. Happy Halloween.
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@seamusmckracken: Freak your cat out by running in the room, stopping abruptly to lick yourself and then running back out again.
@QuietPsycho: When I think about you, I touch myself..... ......I rub my temples because you give me a goddamn headache...
@BareChesty: Finally found a way to use egregious in a sentence that has nothing to do with it's meaning
@Gre_Gone: [Wife finds me crying on kitchen floor] Me: I fell & spilled honey on myself. Wife: Me: Will you ki Wife: I'm not kissing your Honey Boo Boo