@TheAlexNevil: “Then we are agreed: we shall have a duel to the death at sunrise. And if I oversleep you will start without me.”
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@Adar79Angie: Local news : box full of kittens mistaken for a bomb. I have to go to this town. I may be mistaken for Megan Fox.
@joeljeffrey: My wife and did it twice yesterday and we didn't use any protection... I'm worried we might have twins.
@rickolantern: I'm NOT Superman. What appears to be a red and yellow S on my chest is just the result of a rather fortuitous mustard and ketchup stain.
@KalvinMacleod: [date] HER: my last boyfriend was such a misogynist ME: (trying to impress her) I hate massages