@KardashianReact: there are 1,013,913 english words but I never could string together any of them to accurately explain how much I want to hit u with a chair
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@vivalamoi448: 4 yo: Mommy, it feels so good. Me: What does? 4 yo: To be a gangster. Me: ... Go tell your father I said to come here.
@peb671: Untied the bun in my hair & tried that sexy hair shake thing that chicks do on tv. Doc says the neck brace can come off in a week.
@davedittell: Jesus hands his iPhone to da Vinci, "hey can you get one of me and my best buds? thanks man! HEY EVERYONE GET ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE TABLE"