@KardashianReact: there are 1,013,913 english words but I never could string together any of them to accurately explain how much I want to hit u with a chair
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@DomesticGoddss: I have been successfully sitting in chairs for over 40 years without falling off--a skill I apparently didn't pass on to my boys.
@ericonederful: Pastor: pray for your enemies. Me: Dear god, please kill all of my enemies. Pastor: no! Not like that! Me: too late. I already said amen.
@GuyAdvisor: Remember, Kids... If you can't say anything nice, well, it's probably hilarious and worth getting into trouble over anyway.