@faizziy: There are days & nights where I'm surrounded by profound Darkness, followed by a realisation that I need to stop wearing shades in my house.
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@rolldiggity: Throw a pizza down a manhole. Wait five minutes. Throw a grenade down. You just killed the Ninja Turtles.
@KalvinMacleod: [pearly gates] ANGEL: bad jokes are not allowed in heaven ME: ok ANGEL: that means absolutely no puns ME: abSOULutely *clouds turn to fire*
@LoriLuvsShoes: Who me? Oh I'm just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
@Elizasoul80: I'm gonna hire a person to speak at my funeral and say a bunch of crazy stuff about me so my friends and family think I had a secret life.