@kwirkyKerri: There are directions with pictures on this underarm deodorant. Yet another disaster avoided.
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@JohnLyonTweets: I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it.
@hgracestewart: It's been scientifically proven that women who worry are smart. I must be a freaking genius.
@bdbdleeroybrown: My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I can’t love her back. It’s nice when problems resolve themselves.