@Jill_Doe_: There are few problems in life that can't be sorted by slowing down, taking a deep breath, and THEN drawing winged eyeliner on a raccoon.
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@krisv_723: <Morgue> Me:*gasping sob* That's her. I'd recognize that Boner Garage tattoo anywhere. Oh, Grandma.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: Russia has just renewed a longstanding contract with Hollywood to play the bad guys in all international spy thrillers for another 60 years.
@Storminika: I hate it when strangers question me. I'm with my kid, & this lady goes, 'He's cute. Who does he look like?' I'm like, 'Your husband'
@sip_at_home_mom: 2016 took so many beautiful, talented men I've loved my entire life. Seems unfair that I still have to dodge my ex at the grocery store.