@LithiumJunkie: There are going to be a lot of drunk mosquitos tonight.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@junejuly12: Her: I'm having a dry party. Me: Sorry, I'm busy. Her: You don't even know when. Me: You don't even know me.
@ElKnuckelhombre: Me: Ohhh, MARITAL arts workshop...now I really feel stupid in this karate outfit. Wife to therapist: Do you see what I'm dealing with here?
@Robert_Beau: Remember kids, if you’re driving in the snow and start skidding, turn into the direction of the cheapest car.
@KevinFarzad: This man recorded his son every day for a decade. The footage is breathtaking and takes 10 years to watch.