@LithiumJunkie: There are going to be a lot of drunk mosquitos tonight.
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@Thynebear: [starts chanting in unison] In Unison! In Unison! In Unison! Government Official: I don't know what he wants, all I know is I don't like it.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: If there is an opportunity for me to put my pants on backwards in the dark, I take it every time. Apparently.
@HonestToddler: Parents: It's unfair to put your toddler on a leash if you're not going to also let them pee next to parked cars.
@thenatewolf: "You do realize it's a crime to lie in court, right?" *I think for a moment and then move my hands closer together*