@kamtweeting: There are hospitals for the criminally insane. And then there are parliaments for the insanely criminal.
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@TheToddWilliams: [backstage at GOP debate] AIDE: Mr. Trump needs his hair. CAT: I'm puking as fast as I can.
@JohnHilsen: Oranges got their name from their orange juice-like flavor and orange juice-like color.
@jdforshort: 4 is currently using scissors to whittle down a pencil. This will be a valuable skill if she ever goes to prison and needs to make a shank.