@Quartzjixler: There are many effective ways of inviting me to your event but doing it on Facebook is definitely not one of them.
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@KeetPotato: elephants are scared of mice they're like 100x their size, stupid massive wimps [a wasp flies in my car and i completely drive off a bridge]
@PastorBate: I've been washing my hair with Ranch dressing for 13 years because the bottle doesn't say not to do that.
@myles_morrison: Two men came to the door asking if I'd found Jesus. I said "Hell no. I don't want to have to spend my weekends bothering people at home."