@defdanielle: there are naturally attractive people and then there are people like me who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting
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@weinerdog4life: Side Effects May Include: upset stomach, diarrhea, a tail, some hooves, ok so you might turn into a horse
@djdarrellripley: Her: My father is very upset that I'm your girlfriend. Me: Well, duh, I'm very upset that you're my girlfriend...
@SCbchbum: “Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice.”
@KateWhineHall: Really, there's no need to ever take your kids anywhere fun because they can just sit and complain at home for a lot less money.