@defdanielle: there are naturally attractive people and then there are people like me who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting
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@wendchymes: My Boyfriend hates it when we role play and I'm the Doctor cause I make him wait 3 hours bill him then send in a med student named Chad.
@10InchesPlus: "Welcome to the Association Against Acronyms & Abbreviations, your office is this way..." - "We should call it AAAA!" "You're fired."
@thistletat13: There seems to be a direct correlation between how many rosaries you have hanging on your rearview and how shitty a driver you are.
@ehchino: [First date] So what do you do for a living? "I'm a florist" WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE FLOOR? WHAT HAS IT DONE TO YOU, IS IT BECAUSE IT'S LAVA?