@SirEviscerate: There are no atheists in parking lots where you've dropped your phone face down on the asphalt.
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@NikiWithIssues: I really miss Jake. And Clyde. And Marissa. Gina too. I should stop naming my cupcakes right before I eat them. :(
@decentbirthday: Evil villain: You can run but you can't hide! Me: That's where you're wrong pal. *out of breath* I can't do either
@pinupteacher: 3 men asked me out while I was shoveling out my car. Lesson learned: showering and makeup are optional as long you're grunting.
@UnicornSyrup: I put my phone in "airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. It just fell and now my screen is cracked. Worst. Transformer. Ever .