@Michael1979: There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old daughter: *looks in the mirror* Can you get me something to match my cowboy boots? Me: What? 5-year-old: A horse.
@colegamble: The strangest thing happened. A coworker who always says, "Living the dream" was mysteriously stabbed 37 times in the neck with my car keys.
@hotdogsladies: Whenever our neighbor's dog is barking, I know there's either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.