@MikeCanRant: There are shockingly few security guards at dog shows. You can run out and pet 4 or 5 dogs before they catch you. Last time I pet 8 of them.
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@KateQFunny: Running out of time to be a Trophy Wife, so now just hoping to be an I Finished The Race Tshirt Wife.
@ibid78: Angel: "I think we can all agree that 6 is enough." God (clearly upset about something else): "NO. GIVE SPIDERS 8 LEGS."
@thedailymarker: Husband getting dressed: Me: Purple and green don't go together. Husband: It works for the Joker. Me: My point exactly.
@NYC_Blonde: Do men prefer straight or curly hair? Need to know so I can tell my roommate the opposite and then try to steal her boyfriend.