@MikeCanRant: There are shockingly few security guards at dog shows. You can run out and pet 4 or 5 dogs before they catch you. Last time I pet 8 of them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SuicideBooth1: [couples therapy] Mrs: he's too handsy, always touching me all over... Mr: [who is an octopus] I CANT HELP IT LINDA IM LIKE 90% HANDS...
@C00LpenNAME: 12yo daughter: *SCREAMS* Me: WHAT?! 12yo: A spider! Me: It’s just a spider 12yo: I don’t want it to bite me! Me: You’ll never be a super hero w/that attitude
@courtneyno: The light above my desk is going out. I feel like I've been at a really boring rave for the last 7 hours.
@jaslakhmna: While people argue about the glass being half empty or half full...I'll just be drinking from the bottle !