@jdforshort: There are some problems in life that can be solved with chocolate....others require a full clip and a shovel.
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@OtherDanOBrien: [Testing Cat-Human Translator] Scientist: Cat, what is your name? Cat: I AM KANG THE DESTROYER Owner: It's not working. His name is Socks.
@DaddyJew: Me on the toilet: HEY I NEED SOME TOILET PAPER 6: *running around dressed like a mummy* we're all out
@tastefactory: JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*