@Buffalojilll: There are two kinds of dog owners. Those that have tried their dog's treats and those that are lying.
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@joeljeffrey: I didnt know how to tell this guy at Home Depot his fly was down... and he didnt know how to say thanks when I tried to help him zip it up.
@Darlainky: Instead of asking "Are you still watching?" Netflix just said "Hey, pace yourself, we're almost out of shows."
@: WAITER: Would you like Parmesan cheese on your meal? ME: Yes WAITER: Say when ME: Well now makes the most sense
@iwearaonesie: me: How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?! Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"