@neiltyson: There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don't.
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@baconacid: "weed is a gateway drug" "to what? the fridge? Hahaha" *loses car, house, wife, and job because of fridge addiction*
@aeharder: The efficient part about falling asleep on the toilet at work is that inevitably someone who had beans for lunch will come and wake you.
@vinfury: Asterisks are awesome. *tosses a midget dressed in sexy maid outfit off the Eiffel Tower with parachute made of pancakes*
@BeamishBoi: That 0.1% of bacteria that no household product can kill is what will inherit our earth