@neiltyson: There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don't.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iamburtjarvis: her: what r u doing? me: taking a photo of a glass of tap water on snapchat & see if they have- her: oh god me:-a water filter.
@KeetPotato: mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]
@PastorMark: A hipster guy is one who kept his grandpa's clothes but lost his grandpa's work ethic.